You won't hear this in therapy culture, but something men have known for millennia is that an accusation of cowardice, in the right context, can be a truly empowering act of kindness. It immediately moves someone out of contraction (fear) into expansion (anger), which they can then choose to use to overcome the frightful object (courage). On the other side of that obstacle, that personal exercise of power, is glory, growth and joy. (The spirit is first a camel, then a lion, and finally becomes a child.) Of course you can't do this with most strangers, you have to already have a relationship that can bear occasional antagonism. But between soldiers, say, or spiritual friends, or brothers, it can be a potent reminder of your shared values, a powerful actuator, a poem of the breath that moves the heart toward greater truth.