there's an emotional profile I've seen numerous people navigate but never adequately named, the unbelievably painful hangover that comes after a particular kind of peak experience: 1. lonely dissociated nerd has no life satisfaction, no feelings, no great friends, not engaged at work, lives in a constant state of shutdown for self-protection 2. by some luck they wander into a festival, burn, vibecamp, retreat etc, have the feeling of "I have found my tribe" for the first time in their adult life. extremely high peak experience, re-enchanted with the world, feels that anything is possible 3. returning to everyday life, they soon realise they're incapable of creating the changes required to sustain those good feelings. now they're confronted with the same sorrow & loneliness they've dealt with for years but now WITHOUT the protective forcefield of dissociation 4. extremely bitter brutal agonising dark night of the soul 5.... if that doesn't kill them, then after months or years of trial and error they land on an upward spiral, gradually reorienting their life towards meaningful work, belonging, openness, care for self and others etc, eventually they mature into an exceptionally kind and caring community pillar